Well now what to do? We could go back to the room and grieve for Ryan, but what would Ryan want us to do? Dr. Lindsay said to make any calls that we needed ($5.00 a minute ship to shore) and they would take care of the charges. I called my sister Lynda, Lyman's brother Dave, Holloways, and work. Everyone was as surprised as we were. Ryan had been feeling great and had not given any indications that he was not. We are in the Panama Canal, not just at home or in a hospital, but the Panama Canal! Ryan would want us to experience the trip through the canal. (I think this maybe a reason he passed on, because he could not wake up and didn't want us to have to get off the ship in Panama). This was probably a once in a lifetime deal. He had shown me on Tuesday where he was going to sit when we went through the canal. I showed Lyman the location, he stayed there all day took pictures and experienced the canal for Ryan exactly where he would have been. It was quite impressive and I am glad that we decided to go out and view the locks, the lake, the bridges, the Gaillard Cut, all of this is part of the Panama Canal. One of the ship's photographers, Molly, had met Ryan and us during the bridge tour, she didn't know he had died. She was off on the locks taking pictures and gave us a thumbs up, we gave her the thumbs down. Then she knew what had happened. When we were cruising on the lake I went to get something to eat. It had been since 10:00 p.m. last night that I had tried to eat something, I was feeling a little weak and had an upset stomach. Plus I had been up for about 36 hours. Linda and Dan had made a sign to hold as we were in the canal and they got their picture taken and they were also in the ships DVD. Linda came to find me and see how things were going. It was OK, but then so odd. I have been someones care giver for approximately 28 years, now I was not a care giver anymore. We then went and find Lyman and Dan (Lyman was still in the same location). We finished cruising the lake and then entered the Gatun Locks in the afternoon, this would take the ship back down to the Caribbean Ocean on the east side of the canal. I would highly recommend a cruise through the canal, it was quite the experience. We finished going through the locks and then on our way to Cartegena, Columbia. At dinner we sat in the same location that we usually did, there was a woman who had been on one of our off shore excursions that had spoke to Ryan before. She asked where he was, I had to tell her that he had passed away earlier that a.m. Also, we had met a couple from New Jersey in the airport in Salt Lake and had seen her earlier that week with Ryan. She saw me in the elevator and asked about Ryan, I had to tell her about his death. She was so sweet and had only met Ryan but felt a connection to him. She offered her condolences and wished us God's blessings. To be continued. . .